"It's Just Who I Am"

I'll forgive and accept a lot more from people if they assure me that they're aware of those faults.  For example, I know that I'm a horrifying person when I'm hungry.  I get extremely impatient and short with people, and I can whine.  That being said, I'm trying to get better about acknowledging this upfront, and I am trying to change.  Often if I even acknowledge it internally to myself, I can be more conscious of my actions.

However, there is a limit to accepting your own faults.  I believe everyone should be striving to be the best that they can be.  Maybe not every day, but overall and over long periods of time.  But I'm really struggling with a proper reaction to the universal personality justifier "well that's just me."

This is a touchy claim to make - I really do embrace the natural differences in all people.  Just not when a general tendency of one person starts to repeatedly harm or hurt another.  I'm absolutely fine with using "that's just me" to justify: hating the outdoors, talking aloud during TV, an extreme dislike of buttermilk frosting, and the like (all true examples, and all examples that really cause no harm to anyone else).

However, using self-acceptance to justify not showing respect to your significant other, keeping important medical information from your loved ones, or continuing unhealthy eating habits that begin to endanger your own physical health is wrong (sadly, all true examples).  It's putting a positive spin on causing harm, whether to others or to yourself.

We all need to apologize sometimes.  Recognizing our own faults isn't just about acceptance.  Apologize for not treating someone the way they wish to be treated, and try to find a compromise.  Apologize for not including those closest to you in your life, and realize that reaching out for help can be more healing than any medicine.  Apologize for not doing good to your body, and treat it well so it has the support and energy to heal itself.

Let's stop using vague justifiers to bring more negativity in the world.  And let's begin to heal.