Metabolism and Scheduling

I did a lot of reading tonight on metabolism.  In short, I'm nervous that my restricting on and off for the past two years has wrecked my metabolism a bit.  Because of this, sometimes when I do eat a normal amount I can definitely feel myself gaining the weight.  I've read that upon ceasing restriction it is normal, but that long-term increases and consistency will solve the problem.  However, it's hard right now to find that balance without going overboard, and then when I do then I turn back to restriction.

I guess it'll take longer than a week to recover, huh.

This has also been my first week eating without a schedule.  It's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.  Pro: I only eat what I'm craving, so there's no change of already eating my "assigned" meal but still craving what I really want to eat.  Con: I've been thinking and planning meals more than I ever used to.  That being said, I've definitely been looking forward to my meals more than ever, not because my body is starving for calories but because I know they'll be tasty and filling.  Additional pro: I've found that I really get hungry for 4 meals a day rather than 3.  I have classes and events in the middle of the day, and sometimes I run in the late morning/early afternoon, so I have a large breakfast, two large snacks in the midday (one with more protein for post-workout), and dinner, plus dessert (sometimes with dinner, sometimes not.  Additional con: I have way too much food in my pantry because I'm trying to accomodate all the things I want to eat (I live with 3 other girls so we're a bit short on space.  Related pro: there's so much more variety in my pantry!  I'm not forced to eat a certain food because I only allowed myself to buy that for this week.  Con: I'm having trouble making myself get really hungry for big meals.  For example, I knew my friends and I were going out to a tasty deli for dinner and I wanted to arrive hungry, but I found myself restless and I definitely overdid it on the gum chewing (6 pieces? or was it 7??)  Last pro (because there should always be more pros than cons): I actually have been been buying way more produce than ever and I'm finding that I'm snacking on fruits and nuts all the time.  Turns out natural foods make me feel so good!  I can almost feel the produce glowing in my tummy.  Who knew eating nature could feel so good.

Hopefully the continued freedom will continue to inspire my healthy meals, and even help me eat more.  I've found that lately with this new pattern, I get truly hungry after 3 or 4 hours.  Even if I have a big meal (like my deli sandwich tonight), a snack 4 hours later (grapes and some dark chocolate) actually made me feel hungry again by bedtime (now).  It's scary, being on my own and not planning as much.  I feel so in danger of overdoing it every day.  But after I'm just the right amount full, I have this amazing feeling of energy.  Here's to the many meals to come.